Friday, April 8, 2011

Things I Hate

The Brewers.
Having to watch Brewers announcers.
Prince Fielder homeruns vs. the Cubs.
The stupid sliding mascot.

I want to line the slide with razor blades, put a pool of alcohol at the end of the slide, and serve a hanging slider to the Prince.

Lets be clear here: I hate the Brewers.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

2011 MLB Projections

Baseball is here! Finally, the only sport that I can watch every single day for months.

With the start of baseball, a sport where each team plays 162 games, it's always fun to see who gets off to a hot start and do some stat projections.

So here are my Top 5 MLB Stat Projections for 2011:

5. Of course, the most obvious stat is that the Orioles, Rangers, Phillies, and Reds are all on their way to perfect 162-0 seasons! Meanwhile, it will be a long summer in Boston, Houston, and Milwaukee, where their respective teams will apparently finish up this season at 0-162. Sorry, Brewers!

4. Diamondback speedster Willie Bloomquist (who??) is going to steal 162 bases this year!

3. Nelson Cruz, on the other hand, is definitely going to smash 162 homeruns. Steroid conspiracy!

2. In the year of powerful secondbasemen, Brian Roberts is going to drive in an amazing 324 runs. (And to think I kept drafting him in fantasy the last few years and finally gave up on him this season.) Roberts will completely overshadow Pittsburgh's Neil Walker, who will knock in a respectable 283 runs himself. Unfortunately, he will also strikeout 283 times. I think the Pirates will take it!

1. As a Cubs fan, (in addition to Starlin Castro's .500 year-end average and 81 triples) I am most excited about Matt Garza's projected 344 strikeouts. It will be equally amazing to watch him scatter those 344 hits, while keeping that ERA under 4!