Cunha Furiosa Investiga A Corrida Da IndyCar Brasil

I'm feeling a little Brazilian after the last few hours or so.

Why you ask? You see what the super sleuthy investigative team of the Cunha Furiosa (Furious Wedge for the English speakers out there) have found out, is that the 4-minute video circulating around the IndyCar ranks is, in fact, only a small piece of the pie.

That video is actually only a short segment of a longer 30 minute IndyCar special show that was shown in Brazil. And while I don't speak a lick of Portuguese, I can tell you the video is highly encouraging for a race fan. Because without even being able to understand anything beyond driver's names and "IndyCar Series" I learned many things:

A) Probably the most important thing you can garner from the extended video is an extremely better feeling about the circuit. Like many others, I wasn't too happy about the look of the area around this track. The roads' lack of paving (more below) and the Mississippi River looking brown-water-way in the 4-minute video (not exactly the Yahct Club of St. Pete or the shores of Long Beach).

But I am highly encouraged to see that those grandstands and area that will most likely become the front straightway, is in fact, not an abandoned former something-or-other, but it is, in fact, the currently used main center straight for Carnival! (see picture) That doesn't mean its good paving sure, but it means its an area that already accommodates large crowds, and is not a bad part of town, and is popular among the natives. Plus it brings up images of half naked girls dancing around IndyCars in the brain... (sooo tempted to post pictures of Carnival women here)

B) The paving of the circuit has already begun. Now technically the images are not in the video, but this came from some of my other sleuthing around the Brazilian world, but feel free to click on both of the pictures to your right & left for bigger versions and take a look at the ultra smooth paving that is going on for the circuit. From the stuff I'm reading (which includes Enrique Bernoldi getting behind the race saying its good to have more than F-1 and also cheaper than F-1) apparently the biggest worry about trying to get the circuit ready in time is simply bad weather, more specificly rain that might hamper any paving progress, like such. 

C) We get to hear the AMAZING Brazilian announcer! I swear, just behind that f'n awesome Japanese announcer who could never be stopped; and while no offense is meant to the great VS. crew, but I SO BADLY NEED the Brazilian announcer as a viewing option right behind the Japanese guy.

D) Easily the second biggest thing from the looks of this video, regardless of any knowledge of deals, rumors and likewise; I think we should highly expect to see Ana Beatriz on the IndyCar grid in São Paulo. Firstly because she's just as prominent as Helio Castroneves, Tony Kannan, Vitor Meira, Raphael Matos, Fillipe Giafonne and her own manager Andre Ribero in this video. She's also from São Paulo... but even if that isn't enough for you to think about betting on it; I just happened my way to her site which even in English mode is mostly in Portuguese, but even my crazy eyes can read between these lines:

"After two seasons in Firestone Indy Lights, Ana Beatriz gets ready to debut in the IndyCar Series in 2010, between many activities in Brazil.

In late November, she ran in the International Challenge of the Stars, a kart tournament organized by Felipe Massa in Florianopolis,  contested by drivers from many series, including Michael Schumacher, and almost all Brazilian IndyCar drivers: Tony Kanaan, Vitor Meira, Mario Moraes and Raphael Matos.

In December, between interviews with the Brazilian press and participating in television and radio, Ana Beatriz debuted her column in WebMotors´s website which is the most important site in the Brazilian automotive sector.

From now on she will take care of the preparations for her first race in the IndyCar Series, which will be held on a street circuit in Sao Paulo, her own city, on 14 March 2010."

E) Bia Caselato Gomes de Figueiredo (a.k.a. Ana Beatriz) is smoking hot out of her drivers suit. I'm not saying she needs to go all FHM like a certain someone else, but even Mrs. Wedge saw her interview on that video and agrees, rowr, someone get that girl to take some PR photos out of the baggy drivers suit, or at least with her hair not back in racerish-ponytail form. Someone get her on Pressdog!

F) Bruno Junquiera and Mario Moraes are not in that video. Bruno is probably a little expected from his on/off role this past season but it is a little odd that Mario isn't in the video, especially considering he calls São Paulo home. Now it could have been odd timing, he could have been somewhere else at the time, but we do know that he's not yet 100% confirmed at KV Racing for 2010... am I reading too much into this?

UPDATE: As of this morning we now have some official comment from Mario Moraes on the race talking about how much hes looking forward to a race that all his friends/family can attend. So maybe I was making a bit too much of it. He even adds one statement I think we can all agree on for him and look forward to:

"I am excited for next season, because I learned more this year than in my whole career," he said. "I'm evolving and I think a step in Brazil will give even more motivation,"

G) In 30 minutes of video I couldn't understand, I think I learned more about IndyCar racing than I have in the past decade of ABC's race coverage. Seriously that thing was ridiculously loaded with video and pictures from everything, almost every car in the series for 2009 was shown, we saw many shots of IndyCar racing throughout all the years, and even got interviews with other past great Brazilian drivers.

H) We finally get to see Helio, his girlfriend Adriana Henao, and uber-cute baby Makaella! And while you might think that uber-cute babies are not enough; we can always bring it back to racing, and do a little logic here and realize this video was all shot within the last 14 days because Makaella was only born on December 28th.

Of course after all this I know you're clamoring like mad people, and want to see the video... well lucky for you some Brazilian guy has now got it up on the internet in 3 easy parts, I'll let you delve into the Portugese now.

 

Ben Sheets should sign with the Cubs - Top 5 Reasons

So it looks like the Cubs will pursue free agent pitcher Ben Sheets. Of course I love this idea, especially if the contract is based on incentives, which seems inevitable. I feel like the Rich Harden gamble paid off, particularly in the first year. So why not give it a try?

It seems like a perfect fit to me, with so many positives for both sides. In fact, here are my Top 5 reasons why Sheets should sign with the Cubs:

5. He's not old, he's experienced! We'd have Sheets on the mound, Maddux in the front office, Soriano hobbling around the outfield... We'd be piling up players who were awesome in like 2002.

4. Late Cubs' broadcaster Harry Caray would have had no trouble saying his name! Both forward and backwards (Neb Steehs?!), it's pretty smooth. I say, do it for Harry.

3. Bring those Wrigley stats to our team! From 2005-2008, Sheets made 8 starts at Wrigley Field, posting a 3-1 record. In 43 IP he had 35 strikeouts and a 3.14 ERA. (I'm expecting that the Cubs' offense could supply more than 3 wins in 8 starts with a 3.14 ERA.)

2. Add him to the Louisiana Connection! You know Ryan Theriot and Mike Fontenot would love to have a Baton Rouge-native around. When baseball picks up pretty soon, they'll be able to celebrate that Saints Superbowl win together.

1. He's just not ugly enough to keep playing for the Brewers! Seriously. We know how ugly the Milwaukee Brewers' players are. I mean, I heard they all went to a haunted house for Halloween and came out with applications. Get this man out of there. (Besides, it's only a matter of time before Prince is a Tiger and Braun is a Yankee, right?)

Brewers fans: please send your hate mail to WAAAAAaaaaaaaa@i-am-a-big-baby.com

So we had a Steroid Era. Now what?

Well, at first I thought we were learning that they were putting steroids into the Big Mac or, even worse, the Big Mac Wrap. I was going to be pissed. Then I realized... nope, this is just a headline for something we all knew already. (I heard there's a breaking story today where we'll all find out that The Beatles did, in fact, have a bunch of hit records.)

So now that we "finally" know the truth, where does that leave us, as sports fans? We already know how I feel about people making mistakes and suffering consequences for actions. Nothing is easy, or it shouldn't be anyway. For instance, if the guys from Tennessee like to possess guns and drugs, then their lives should be inconvenienced. Off the team, out of school. I'm not saying they can never play again or they should even go to jail for a long time. I'm just saying there needs to be a consequence.

So what is a fair consequence here? I really don't know. If they take McGwire's records away or whatever, I'd be fine with that. (You can't erase our memories and you can't burn all that was written at the time. The Summer of '98 will live on, no matter what the record books state.) Asterisks, forfeits, I think any of that is fair if done evenly. But there's your problem.

Do we want to know or not? Mark McGwire is the first player with Hall of Fame numbers to come clean and admit to steroid use BEFORE he was caught. (Right?) We need to be careful how we handle this. Any attempt at a punishment (which would be useless anyway) will prevent us from learning the truth about countless other players from that era. The fact that he is a newly hired hitting coach with the potential to be the best 46-year-old pinch hitter in history may make MLB want to come down on him. But I fear that is the absolute worst thing we could do right now.

Will the voters keep him out of the Hall of Fame? This is likely the consequence we'll see. And again, if that's what is decided (officially or if it's just understood), then fine. He deserves whatever he gets. That's my point.

Personally, I've thought about it. If I had a vote, I would still vote for these guys. McGwire, Sosa, they were clearly the best of their era. Same as Shoeless Joe Jackson and Pete Rose. We saw them do things on the field better than anyone else they were playing against at the time. Baseball had a Steroid Era... you can't just ignore it.

But if I did have a vote, here is what I would do differently. Besides voting in the ones with the obvious Hall of Fame statistics (after maybe analyzing the numbers for a little bit of steroid inflation) I would also vote for the players who stood out in that era and were NOT (and still are not) suspected of using steroids.

My obvious first choice is Mark Grace. In the decade of the 1990s, Mark Grace led Major League Baseball in hits (1,754), doubles (364), and sacrifice flies (73). Admittedly, his career totals are not true, traditional Hall of Fame numbers. He lasted 16 years and produced 2,445 hits. But the fact that he was clearly a dominant hitter in the 1990s and was never suspected of taking steroids would earn my vote.

Yes, I'm a Cubs fan. Yes, the only dog I ever owned was named after Gracie. But numbers are numbers. So who else is there? Which other guys from this period are similar: numbers just below traditional Hall of Fame totals, but probably did not take steroids. Should we consider rewarding these guys for the work they did in the Steroid Era?

To All the People who think McGwire, Sosa etc Should be Kept Out of the Hall of Fame and Records Stricken

Let me know how your protest/petition to kick admitted cheater Gaylord Perry out of the Hall of Fame and have his stats removed is going...

Ron is probably going to write something mightily more intelligent and funny, but Ijust wanted to say something for the people who want to pretend that what Perry did was "part of the game" even though there were specific rules in the official rulebook against it; and there were none against what McGwire and Sosa did at the time. Yes I realize Perry probably bragged about cheating more than he likely did, doesn't mean he didn't do it. And no, please don't send me the link to the memo that was sent out to players that said "please don't cheat, because we have no intention to ever test you" because that is not a rule especially without enforcement. Please don't pretend like guys never used amphetamines before steroids, corked bats before they were detectable.

Was it ethical? Hell no, but lets not pretend 80% of the NFL isn't on something (where's the outrage over the Steelers steroid dynasty?) and hold a different standard there. Its no different than people drinking copius amounts of coffee because it makes them perform better at work and is not against work rules. Until any sport adopts the strict testing and rules the Olympics have, lets all just realize there will always be a gray area. Baseball is entertainment and the Hall of Fame is not the Hall of Ethics, for chirssakes people Ty "I'll stab you in your f'n leg if I get the chance" Cobb is in there...

a few of notes about the weekend...

First of all, I was thrilled to see Tennessee upset #1 Kansas after dismissing Tyler Smith and playing without the other three players who remain suspended. The fact that players who were not thought to be significant to the team in the beginning of the season are now stepping up and becoming an integral part of the team's success is a wonderful story. Again, as a teacher, this is a great lesson that I can point to and show kids that by staying out of trouble and being in the right place at the right time, you'll usually get your chance.

My favorite quote after the game was when Coach Bruce Pearl said, "McBee's shot was worth how many hours in the gym? When other kids were doing everything else, you could see McBee in the gym practicing all night long. It paid off — the beautiful thing about sports."

What a jab at his hoodlum players (and ex-player)! When other kids were doing everything else! Like, you know, drugs, guns, etc. I'm pretty happy about what's going on at Tennessee following this incident so far.

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Second, I'd like to welcome all the people who found our site the past couple of days by searching for Charles Barkley Saturday Night Live skits! Please feel free to stick around and join in the conversations here. I mean, besides Scared Straight and maybe Reel Quotes or Inside the NBA, I wouldn't really be so worried about looking for all those videos anyway. The Ski Retreat and Racist MacGruber, for example, were pretty awful. So instead of searching for SNL clips, I suggest helping us get ready for our upcoming Blogathon! Comments are always welcome.

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Finally, I think we had a great Sunday. The Patriots were embarrassed on their home field. Wedge returned after a few weeks off. And then the Cardinals won a great game in the battle to see who gets to come to the Superdome and lose!

No Proof Needed, Odds on Favorites - Bet on It!

I’m calling it now, with the return of Ron Furious to sports blogging , the Furious Wedge is easily the favorite to be the best blog of 2010; all the other blogs out there ought to just start preparing themselves to compete for second place.

I mean we’re talking about the guy who once incited the rage of Brewers fans for calling them good; and made the great suggestion for the 24 Hours of Daytona to include Jack Bauer; he’ll never be stopped; all the other blogs who reigned in his early retirement just won’t be able to handle the higher level that his game is at.
Ok I might be joking…might… but I figure that’s the nature of sports right? Right now especially, we’re dealing with 2-3 out of retirement “no one stands a chance” stories.

First is the return of Michael Schumacher to Formula One, even though he’s been away for three years; and even though he didn’t win the title in his last two seasons; is an odds on favorite to win the title in 2010; and for the few odds makers who don’t have him as a favorite he’s number 2 or 3 by the thinnest of margins.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Schumi is going to fail or not contend; I’m just saying the man hasn’t turned a competitive lap in a Formula One car in years, the cars have changed significantly and most importantly, the last season of Formula One was dominated by random teams.

Then you head over to the world of Women’s tennis, which is suddenly going to be dominated by Justin Henin, simply because she decided to come back and play again. The writers and fans are already having conversations wondering just how many more Grand Slams she will win in her career. And the only thing that can stand in recently-unretired Henin’s way is actually recently un-retired Kim Clijsters!

At least while Henin has simply returned and won a warm-up tournament, Clijsters has actually won a U.S. Open since her return so at least she's got some proof of her "return"… though pretty much the entire world hasn’t the slightest recollection of her awesome return performance because we're a little too busy remembering how her semi-final opponent told a line-judge she was gonna shove a ball up her ass:



Personally I love all Michael, Kim and Justine’s stories; because they all did something many athletes are simply afraid to do… they took a break to live a little life, to catch their breath and relax, and in just about all cases, it happens they ended up reminding themselves just how much they love their sport.

Clijsters story is especially great because she (like many on the U.S. Women’s Soccer team) are proving that you can in fact have a family and stay competitive in a major sport, plus it makes way for these great shots of her and her daughter, taking the uber-cutness factor to overload.

Justine is smoking hot, and Schumacher has generally been a badass in the cockpit so I’m totally looking forward to all the returns… but this got me thinking... (thinking cap now on)

How many times in the sports world has someone been able to become a clear odds favorite to win their sport’s major title simply by announcing they are coming out of retirement? I can only really remember one distinctive one in history:

Michael Jordan’s first return to the NBA

And then of course one guaranteed to happen in the near future:

Tiger Woods’ eventual return to golf.

Some people might point to Roger Clemens, but his teams hardly became favorites; and even Tyson’s return to boxing came with wonder about if he was still the same man in the ring. Dario Franchitti’s return to the IndyCar Series made him a top 5 prediction, but just about 99% of the world didn’t even peg him as the best on his team for 2009; None of Brett Favre’s “returns” have made anyone think his presence suddenly made his team the Super Bowl favorites, and neither did Tom Brady’s return this year.

So this has me thinking, and needing your input. Who out there even has a shot at doing this anymore? Who can you say could leave their sport for whatever reason for at least 1 season, then simply announce their return and become odds on favorite to contend/win without even demonstrating anything?

Would Federer get that? No, especially with the rise of Nadal, but would Nadal get it, probably not outright with Federer and the field still contending. Would Travis Pastrana get this kind of response if he returned to motocross? Probably not, especially because everyone would wonder about all the injuries. Even Sam Hornish Jr. would be barely an outside contender if he ever returned to the IndyCar Series considering all the road courses that are now out there. Maybe if Juan Pablo Montoya ever returned to IndyCar… maybe? No boxer or MMA fighter could certainly claim this right now…

Across ALL sports I can only think of very few situations where a current player could retire then un-retire and be an immediate championship favorite:

-James Stewart in motocross
-Peyton Manning in football.
-Jimmie Johnson in NASCAR Cup

Sure we can all think of many that would be instant momentum and non-surprises to contend, but who would Vegas immediately shoot to the top without anything but an announcement? I can’t think of any outside of those three, specifically because they contribute more than 70% to their championships. Are guys like Albert Pujols, Derek Jeter, Alexander Ovechkin, and Sidney Crosby even in the realm of significance? Definitely, but does Vegas move them to the top of the odds board without even a hint of practice or proof?

What do you think? Am I missing anyone?

Charles Barkley SNL: Overall

This was OK. An average SNL following two average NFL playoff games. (Hopefully we'll have a better NFL Sunday?)

I feel like we kind of got less of Barkley than we usually get from other hosts as far as screen time goes. He wasn't in Weekend Update at all and he was left out of a couple of the digital things. Why couldn't Alicia Keys make a booty call to Charles Barkley? It would've been different obviously, but I'm sure the writers could've done something with that.

Also, Wedge brought up a good point. There should've been a skit about a company's pick-up basketball team with Barkley. This easily could've replaced the awful company retreat sketch.

Missed opportunities or did the SNL writers just not know what to do with Charles Barkley?

Charles Barkley SNL: Barkley's Bank

Yeah, Barkley likes to gamble. We get it. What the hell happened? Was this skit so bad they just cut it off? I think with the NFL games going late, it messed up everyone's timing or something. These actors are usually five beers into the after party by now, I'm sure!

Charles Barkley SNL: Scared Straight

Finally, Kenan and Barkley together in good roles! Barkley as Kenan's dad. The MacIntoshes! This is pretty good. The finger in the ear was amazing.

You complete my butthole!

Charles Barkley SNL: Haney Project

Barkley as himself! Is this all real golf footage?? That's hilarious. (We have footage of the one time I went golfing with Wedge and it looks about like that.) Overall not a funny skit though. Why is Barkley so stiff? He's normally laid back and funny. I think he's trying way too hard not to mess up. He said on the NFL pre-game show that he wasn't worried about messing up. I think he lied.

He still has a great golf swing:

Charles Barkley SNL: Inside the NBA

Barkley in his element here. World class bologna head was good. Overwhelming corpse disease! SNL has a habit of running some of the skits for too long, repeating the same jokes over and over. Thankfully, this one ended quick enough, making it more effective. I guess they needed the time for that 3rd MacGruber. Whatever works.

Charles Barkley SNL: Ski Retreat

I don't get it. Is she Jessica Rabbit? Charles Barkley and Andy Samberg... how can it not be funny?

Barkley's pretty awful in this one. I think he knows how much the skit sucks and isn't even trying.

Charles Barkley SNL: MacGruber

I don't think these are ever funny and this was about the worst. Racist MacGruber is infinitely unfunnier than normal MacGruber.

NOTE: Let's assume these are all bad, no matter how many they show.

Charles Barkley SNL: Reel Quotes

This is not bad. Basically like Celebrity Jeopardy. I actually laughed, which is sometimes rare for current SNL. Great to see Kristen Wiig playing a semi-new character!

"If you build it, we will knock it down!"

Charles Barkley SNL: Opening Monolouge

3/5 and mainly only because of Kenan Thompson. Not a great start, Chuck! Let's go. Make me laugh.

Charles Barkley - Saturday Night Live

This has potential, right? I'll try to give my opinion on each of Sir Charles's performances by giving a rating on a scale of 1-5 Charles Barkley heads.

Tyler Smith dismissed from Tennessee basketball team

While I wait for live-blogging during Charkes Barkley's Saturday Night Live action, I must say that, as a teacher in the state of Tennessee, this makes my job a little easier. The fact that Coach Bruce Pearl dismissed this kid from the team is something we, as teachers, can point to as an example of a consequence for a poor decision. If they were found guilty and were allowed to still play, kids would've learned nothing. It's great to see a coach treating these guys like "student" athletes.

Just the other night I had a whole post typed up about this, saying these players should be kicked off the team and out of the school. I decided not to publish it, thinking it would be better to wait for more evidence to be known first. I'm all for second chances... just somewhere else. We can't make it convenient and comfortable. Now we'll see what awaits the other three guys.

Time for SNL.

Before we had the internet...

I know it's hard to imagine, but think about what it used to be like... to be a sports fan before the internet. Before everyone had super cable and satellite dishes. Before ESPN radio. Before cell phones with mobile updates. I don't know how we survived, but we did, and I have proof.

Today I found a notebook that my dad used in 1987 to keep track of every roster in Major League Baseball. It includes notes for players that were traded, injured, released, etc.

Here are, according to my notebook, the 1987 Chicago Cubs:

We basically had three sources to collect this info:

1. newspapers

2. baseball cards

3. games on television

The television part made it easy, especially when it came to the Cubs, Braves, and the other National League teams they played against. But I imagine this must've been difficult for American League teams. Other than the nationally televised game of the week, we didn't get to see a lot of AL action. This information probably came from boxscores and transactions listed in the Times Picayune.

I am not sure what the check marks are for beside the players, but my guess is that it refers to baseball cards we had collected.

The notebook did not have enough pages, so some teams ended up on these "Things to Do Today" sheets that had to be folded into the notebook. For example, here are your 1987 Cleveland Indians:




















Did the Indians really trade Steve Carlton and Phil Niekro in the same season, while keeping a dude name Sammy Stewart? I guess it's true. A "Things to Do Today" sheet wouldn't lie!

So I don't know much about racing...

Wedge got me.

Yesterday, I told Wedge to google a name and see what came up. It was someone we used to know and I thought he'd like the search results.

So he gave me a name to google. A racer. Ana Beatriz.

I guess most of you know that I was pretty confused when I was getting results for someone who was not a racer:




This, of course, is supermodel Ana Beatriz Barros.

[Insert tag for google searchers: This is not a hot nude sex video.]









It took me a while, but I figured it out. The trick is obviously that there is another person named Ana Beatriz, the Indy Lights racer. [Note: This is also not a hot nude sex video.]

I've seen an Indy Lights race. Did I watch her? Only Wedge has the answer. (Or anyone else, I suppose, if you know if she would've been at the Nashville race in July 2008.)