Saturday, January 30, 2010

Say, What Happened to Wedge's Front Door?

[walks through what used to be the Furious Wedge front door]

Hello? Anyone home? Sorry I'm late. I was at Hollyhock Hill. It was delicious. Hello????

[notices that the walls are caked in mustard & Civil War porn]

Whoa boy. Helllllllllloooooooo??? Anybody?? I brought Scattergories. I thought we could get a little crazy and play a --

[sees that the kitchen is gone, and in its place is a fully functioning cockfighting pit]

Sweet Jesus! What the fuck's been going on in here?!?! Where is everyone? WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?!?!? What have you done here?!?! What kind of twisted shit has gone down here today? I thought we were watching some race & otherwise not gang-raping Wedge's house. This isn't funny anymore! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!

[follows the bloody hoofprints into the basement where everyone is gathered]

GOOD GOD!!!!!! SUCH DEPRAVITY!!!! SUCH HORRORS!! MY EYES!!! THIS!! IS!! AWESOME!!!!!




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